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Communication

Letterbox

After my grandmother passed away, my cousin and I were talking and found that we both wrote letters to her regularly and we would miss that.  So we decided to write to each other.  This was a few years ago, but it came up again during an email session, and then this week I found a beautiful card with a lovely letter from her in the mailbox.

So, tonight, I sat down and wrote back to her.  I wrote to her like I used to write to my grandmother.  I always tried to give a sense of where I was and the small things that I noticed that were interesting or different or somehow making my life cozy.  This way, I can imagine her, sitting with a cup of tea, enjoying reading my letter and having a feeling of being present in my life, in small ways.

Email has its place and I do enjoy it as a way of touching base, but writing a letter is almost a gift and an act of caring, in a way, or at least it is for me.  And! I will have the pleasure of a return letter and the anticipation of waiting for it to come!  It is a kind of savoring of life.

Once upon a time, I lived in Cape Cod and had a house with a front door that I painted blue, and I had dreams.  Those dreams ended up being swallowed up by house renovation tasks and the realization that Cape Cod was not the place for me.  So, I closed the blog and closed the door for a time on my dreams and I moved.

That move also didn’t work out, for different reasons, and I never gave my dreams a chance there.  So, the door was never even cracked open.  It was just stored.

I moved again, this time to be closer to my parents and my brother and his family.  I am now in Wasilla, Alaska and renting a very small house and trying to set the groundwork for both a simple life and a creative life.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Down to Earth, by the lovely Rhonda Hetzel and there was a link back to an older post about a city girl wanting to live the simple life in the country and wishing she could be living her dream now.  And Rhonda told her to live her dream now in her current situation.  This struck a chord in me, because this is what I want to do, but so often I am so hard on myself about needing to live my dream as I dream it, that is full-fledged, when really it is only an egg or maybe a small baby bird toddling about bumping into things.

So, I thought… perhaps I am being too hard on myself.  Sure I would love to have a family and be a home-maker and spend my days working on gardening, weaving, canning, knitting…etc… but really, I am already a homemaker.  I already have made a small cozy home for myself and my cat in this little house.  So, how can I pull in the pieces of my dream that will fit into this life I have now?

And that is why I decided to reopen the Blue Door.  I also hope that taking time to focus a little on the small aspects of my dream that I do live, will encourage a kind of happiness and contentment with what I have and am doing and also allow it to have fertile and loving soil to grow in.  So, there you have it!!

The Blue Door is open again!

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